The Crazy Couple

The Crazy Couple (I will call them Rosemary and George)

Of the relationships that came and went during the course of our marriage…this one left the deepest impact on me. Rosemary and George, like the others, came into our lives due to the start of our business…but in a more “round-about” way.

I mentioned the exotic animal vet who became affiliated with our store, in an earlier post. He was the conduit of the relationship we had with this couple.

The narc made a decision, one day, to purchase a baby Wallabe (at a price of about $1200 I believe). He was obsessed with Australia and the animals of that region for a time. This Wallabe, while captive bred, quickly turned into a nightmare. It was skittish, it did not like being handled and was NOT a PET!

For a little while (mere weeks) he carried this animal around in a pouch on his chest and bottle fed it…garnering much attention and admiration. It, oh too soon, outgrew the pouch and no longer wanted to be carried around. 

For a short time, it ran loose in our store until it began trying to escape out the door whenever someone entered and jumping wildly around the store knocking over things and “battering” customers. Since the animal was no longer “enjoyable” (and not appropriate for sale to someone else)….what to do?

One day the vet was making a visit and noted that he knew a couple that owned a FULLY GROWN Kangaroo (over 5 feet tall) and had successfully kept it for many years. He suggested that the narc contact them for advice.

This was the basis, and the beginning, of our relationship with Rosemary and George.

George was from New Zealand and spent a great deal of time in Australia. He was from a well to do family but he, for whatever reason, was not the beneficiary of any of that wealth. Rosemary was an American citizen, raised in a SUPREMELY dysfunctional family, who had made a trip to Australia as a young adult….sans any money or arrangements for her trip. If I remember correctly, George found her sleeping on the beach because she had nowhere to go…and the rest, as they say, is history.

At some point they moved to the USA with a fully grown Kangaroo in tow. This Kangaroo was tame and was quite comfortable in being led around and used in educational presentations. I guess that Kangaroos are more apt to be tamed than Wallabes and this is something the narc did not explore prior to purchasing the Wallabe.

This couple informed the narc that there was likely no way to make a pet out of this Wallabe and that he was going to need to make some type of provision for keeping the animal in more of an “Observation” capacity.

Look but don’t touch kind of thing.

He set up a cage in the store but it was too small for the animal….however…thinking as a narc… it was not acceptable to bring the animal home and set up a habitat for it. The WHOLE PURPOSE OF THE ANIMAL was attention…and if no one could SEE it…what was the use of having it?

Eventually, the narc presented this Wallabe to the couple as a gift (garnering MUCH admiration and appreciation) whose Kangaroo had died.

VERY SMART INDEED!

This not only cemented their belief that he was a generous kind, caring animal benefactor (since they already had an enclosure, tailor made for the Wallabe, in which it would be acceptably comfortable) but also a belief that he genuinely cared about them and was their friend.

This also solved HIS problem with what to do with this animal. He was not interested in building an enclosure, paying to feed it, going to all that trouble, paying vet bills, etc…for an animal that was USELESS to him…in the attention seeking department.

Over a number of years the 4 of us became very close, spending no less than 2 evenings together every week. We were in and out of each other’s homes, and they became part of our family. At THAT time, the twins had not yet been born, so I had only my children at home. This relationship continued and remained close until my twins were born and reached the age of about 3 years.

The couple became fixtures in OUR home, but also in the homes of my FAMILY members who included them in most family gatherings and holiday celebrations. They, INDEED, became PART OF OUR FAMILY and remained so for no less than 6 years. We were inseparable.

I actually took weekend “girl time” trips with this lady and she became the first person that I would call a “real friend” that I had been comfortable with since my teen years.

I guess it is important to explain that these people were quite “quirky” and it became necessary to “adapt” and “tolerate” some specific behavior which was uncomfortable to me.

I used to (privately) call the man “SAINT George”. This man was one of the kindest and gentlest men I had ever met….usually disconcertingly so. 

He was a doormat! 

He tolerated abuses from this woman that would make your teeth stand on edge. She would become ENRAGED, usually over some tiny little issue…issues that would occur in our presence.

I say this because as people who have been abused…we know that we often appeared IRRATIONALLY angry to others…because they did NOT SEE what was happening behind the scenes!

In THIS case…everything would be all hunky dory…and then he would say something a little wrong…or look at her the wrong way…LITERALLY…and she would fly into an instantaneous RAGE saying some of the most HORRIBLE things imaginable to him. He would look a little defeated, walk away or just listen to her rant…NEVER defending himself…often apologizing for some perceived wrong and wait for the storm to pass.

I found this VERY uncomfortable. There was no way to see it coming, no way to gracefully excuse yourself from it…and INVARIABLY…she would draw all present into this by telling you what a “&$#@#  %%$%^  $*&**  MORON” he was!

This behavior, however, was confined to THEIR home. This did not happen when they were in the home of me or my family members. So it was pretty safe to have them over.

I was aware, from the very beginning, that the narc was talking about me to these people. For some reason he decided it would be prudent to begin assassinating my character, and the character of my children, to these people IMMEDIATELY. To THEM, he did not portray me as a BITCH…but as a damaged, incompetent who was being unmercifully used and abused by my teenaged children. A fragile mental defective who had to be shielded lest I go over the “proverbial edge” at any moment.

Because of this portrayal they did not mistreat me…but actually treated me with deference and kid gloves. Due to this fact, I was not immediately aware of how this could become an issue.

He ranted to them, unmercifully, about the evils and manipulation of my teenaged sons and portrayed them as being emotionally neglected and damaged juvenile delinquents. My sons were unaware of this (and I was not aware of the extent of it) as the couple treated them well…until one day, one of them picked up the phone to make a call and overhead a “snippet” of a conversation between the Narc and Rosemary. In this conversation, according to my son, she was engaging with the narc in lies and badmouthing of them, buying into all the lies he was telling and supporting him in his “required discipline”…i.e TORTURE. 

My son did not tell me about this at the time…again…everyone had to protect the fragile, demented, invalid.

In addition to the desire to protect me, I can also imagine that my son was quite aware that IF he brought this to my attention, and IF I believed him (which I will, shamefully, admit is highly questionable) and IF I decided to confront the NARC about it (even less likely, sadly)….it would ALL have been turned around on him and he would have paid for it in a million ways! His assessment of the situation was ENTIRELY CORRECT!

Anyway…after 6 years of near daily contact with these people…one day, it just STOPPED…DEAD. 

I asked them over a couple of times, they were too busy…polite in their declination…but firm. This happened a couple of times before I started to think anything was wrong…I mean people do have their own lives!

It quickly became apparent that SOMETHING had changed. They continued to visit the narc at the store…but had no contact with me. This went on for a little while. I asked the narc what I had done to turn them against me…and he calmly assured me that I had done nothing. 

"NOTHING is WRONG…you are just being hypersensitive!”

After a while longer I instructed him to ASK them what had happened…and he reported back that they said “Nothing happened…they were just a childless couple and they felt uncomfortable being around our 3 year old twins” Funny how they got uncomfortable with the twins all of a sudden when, prior, they had been de facto GOD PARENTS to them!

From that day to this day, I have never received a single phone call or visit from these people who once had my love and trust. Who spent holidays with my family...who professed to love my Mother...who professed to care about me....who professed to be Christians...who PROFESSED in lies and behind their own masks.

The narc has since discarded them…and me.

...but they discarded me long ago...