One day, he expressed an interest in two fields about which I knew nothing. He stated he liked herpetology and entomology (I heard snakes and bugs). I have never been a "girly girl" but neither sounded very appealing to me! I had always been into science and biology and, most especially, animals, so I tried to keep an open mind.
We had the occasion to visit an exotic pet store one day and it was over-filled, jammed to the rafters, with people. It took quite a while for the sales person to get around to us. I stood there, amazed at the numbers of people who crowded this hole in the wall store! While we waited, I browsed among the animals there and I spied a lizard with a spiked, clubbed tail. He was gentle and showed no sign of aggression and he was impressively LARGE. We left the store that day with "Henry" the Egyptian Uromastyx. I loved Henry and this was the beginning of an idea.
We were told to take Henry and his 40 gallon aquarium with heat lamp and feed him lettuce and vegetables. Henry did OK for a week or two and then stopped eating, became ill and started to DIE. I could SEE him dying! Now I am a caregiver, an empath and a GUILT ridden one at that! I looked at this poor animal, withering away and felt remorse for having purchased him. The Narc, despite his passing interest in "herpetology" had no idea what was wrong with Henry. I frantically searched for a vet that could deal with such an exotic specimen and ran upon an exotics vet who made house calls. This was quite expensive but I had committed to Henry and I would do what I could to save him!
The vet (actually now quite a well known authority on the subject) took one look at Henry and began to tell us that WE were KILLING him. He laughed at what we had been told by the pet store. It turns out that throwing an $60.00 Egyptian Uromastyx in a 40 gallon aquarium with a 60 watt heat lamp and feeding it lettuce was NOT the correct information! Go figure!
He patiently explained that we would need to make MANY additional purchases in order to keep Henry alive and healthy...and it is not QUITE that easy. He needed two types of light...his habitat needed to be kept at nearly 100 degrees during the day with a "basking spot" which should approach 120 degrees. He was an OMNIVORE and required MUCH more than lettuce. He required worming, vitamins, calcium supplements, low humidity (which means, in Florida, cannot be kept outside). As he listed these action steps that we would need to take...I was determined that, I had committed to Henry, I WOULD do what I needed to do.
After the vet left, I commented to the narc.."Gee! All the business that place had...and they are selling animals without even telling people how to care from them properly. Just IMAGINE how well a pet store that wanted to really do it right could do!"
And so the idea was born. A pet store, specializing in education regarding the animals it sold, with knowledge in husbandry and captive breeding of each specimen. A place where reference materials could be found in a store library (internet info was not readily available at that time). A store with an affiliation with an EXPERIENCED exotic animal veterinarian...and stocking everything that would be needed to SUCCESSFULLY care for these exotic animals.
He LIKED the idea of being his own boss! As he looked around to find a location...I designed the logo, named the store (with his approval of course) and came up with the catch phrase. He borrowed $10,000 from his family (which was paid back) and I supported us while the store was being designed, started and until it became self-supporting. I worked 2 jobs to do so. Despite these long work hours I ALSO spent HOURS painting, decorating, selecting animals, products, working in the store, etc.
I designed and produced care sheets for each specimen we sold, researching each and learning about each as I went along. Before too long I developed a great appreciation for most of the different animals and for the "quirky" mix of people who kept exotics...bikers, Doctors, tattooed people and men in business suits...little old lady's with turtle fetishes and giant men with nose rings who kept tarantulas.
I became interested in captive breeding and we started several projects in this area. Before too many years people were talking about our little store in other STATES and the name of our store was recognized, by many people, as being synonymous with education and responsible exotic pet ownership. The narc ran the store on a day to day basis but I was there too, every time I had a chance- after working the two jobs I still worked....
Then people started to bring their children in to ask questions and the children were always fascinated. From this the idea for a traveling animal show came about (I believe this may have been mine as well-can't quite remember) but I do know that I came up with the name, developed the brochures...etc etc. This traveling show offered educational talks to schools and for a fee, birthday parties and other children's events. That became quite popular. Both he and I did these shows. Things were pretty "Golden", indeed!
Then, one day, we were alone in the store...once it had become self-supporting and profitable, and we were having a disagreement. I am not sure what the disagreement was about but it likely revolved around MY children as this was the main source of the torture he inflicted upon me at that time.
I made the statement "You are driving me CRAZY!"
He, knowing my button of fear that I might INDEED be clinically insane, looked at me with cold, hard eyes and said "Oh...HONEY...you were CRAZY long BEFORE I entered the picture!" and he smirked at me.
This led to further exchanges and finally SOMEONE (don't remember who exactly) brought up the fact that we MIGHT have to consider "splitting up".
It was at THAT time when he first informed me that he WOULD be taking the business and that it was HIS! I stood there gaping and said, "This business is NOT YOURS. It belongs to BOTH of us and that is EXACTLY how the courts would see it!" When he realized how I would proceed in the case that we did split up...and that I would NOT be simply walking away from the business as he had planned...he started trying to guilt me. "Well, YOU have a way to support YOURSELF! You are a nurse, you can ALWAYS get a job. Do you mean to tell me you would try to take the business too? What a selfish BITCH you are!"
I just stood looking at him and said "This is NOT your business...it is OUR business"
That was probably 17 years ago...so does it come to surprise that he is now trying to screw me out of the business? No! After about 15 years he really lost interest in the business and let it go to pot, become dirty, started to be rude...put up signs that kids were not allowed without parents...started screwing people...refused to be competitive, felt superior to those he was serving...
This did not happen all at once but it started nearly immediately...still the business hung in there for more than 17 years before he finally decided he could not do it for ONE MORE DAY and closed the doors. The ECONOMY, did, indeed, tank. However, I do not believe this is what closed our business. His refusal to continue the upkeep and his treatment of our customers with disdain wrecked our business.
He was all too happy to walk away and become something else...something that gave him freedom of movement...something that gave him supply...something that made no money...something that required me to support us. He is using the name of our business in that enterprise...our tax number...our name and reputation. Things I worked HARD FOR. Two years ago, unknown to me...he REMOVED my name from that business and placed it all...100%... in his name.
I never SIGNED it away...he STOLE it from me. Now he thinks the courts will be OK with that...and as screwy as things are...they just may well be. But I am NOT DONE FIGHTING!
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