I. Psychopath and Sam Vaknin

I have just watched the documentary called “I. Psychopath”, about Sam Vaknin. This man has caused no end of controversy and the use of his name or any info that comes from him has been banned from many groups related to recovering from damage from Narcissism/Psychopathy/Sociopathy. I have read the complaints about him, and his work, and I feel I understand what is being said...but I am unsure I agree with it. Whatever you believe about him....he is providing a service to those that need it. He does not say he provides this service out of good will or to help anyone but freely ADMITS that this is a money making venture. I paid for his book and even if HE may feel he ripped me off in some way...I DO NOT.

After seeing this documentary I AM left with a more thorough knowledge of why people say that we need to just cut and run. The mere quantity of the contradictions and circular theories is enough to have you spinning and leave you feeling confused. This is NOT because it is not interesting or because it makes no sense...it is more that, when you think about it LOGICALLY it DOES make sense and that is why it is SO BAFFLING.

Sam Vaknin is a middle aged man who was diagnosed, over a period of years, by two different Doctors with NPD. He has a DOCUMENTED IQ of 186+/-. He has made, and lost, several FORTUNES and was convicted, and jailed, for securities fraud. He states he is a Narcissistic Psychopath and he now fully believes himself to be this based, logically, on the fact that his life just continued to fall apart and the observations of others.

Now the logical questions:

1.       CAN a Psychopath recognize himself/herself as one?

2.       CAN a true Narcissist recognize himself/herself as one?

3.       How can you believe anything someone tells you, when they have stated THEMSELVES, that they will do ANYTHING to obtain what they want? (Lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, badger, bully, etc.) Kind of like the old Star Trek episode where they shut down an entire AI by stating “I NEVER tell the truth. That’s a lie!” It causes a circular processing in our brains that cannot lead anywhere. If you assume both are fact…it is impossible to compute!

4.       How can a person with Narcissism, given that the diagnostic indicators include lack of self-awareness, lack of empathy and the inability to recognize any defect within themselves…POSSIBLY engage in such a detached self-reflective process?

5.       How can a person be tested for these traits if they have a REASON to want to “fail” the test? His livelihood depends upon his HAVING these disorders.

6.       If he has an IQ of 186…and has done extensive research on these things, how can we assume he cannot logically DETERMINE the answers that need to be selected in order to achieve the results that he desires?

7.       Does the fact that he IS self-reflective actually disqualify the diagnoses (at least the NPD diagnosis)?

To me, this leads to 2 possibilities regarding Mr. Vaknin.

A.      He is a Psychopath or…

B.      He is a brilliant con man pretending to be a Psychopath to make money

If you believe B to be true…then I can understand not liking his work as you might feel like he is making money with a con game.

BUT the fact is that these groups seem to unanimously agree that they believe A. The comments indicate the belief that he is a Narcissistic Psychopath but they do NOT like his theories because they tend to devalue the suffering of the victim and place part of that suffering as the fault of the victim. I can understand why that is unpopular as we have suffered enough and pulling any of that blame back onto ourselves seems unjust and self-defeating. It’s another case of “circular thinking” because, once again, we are being asked to give our abuser a “pass” because he is NOT at fault for having this “condition”. We have been made to do that for FAR TOO LONG ALREADY. So perhaps these groups ban him because he triggers the members or because it causes angst in holding the abusers accountable. If so, then I can see why it is done.

Further comments indicate that his “Narcissism fairly LEAPS out of the screen at you and causes you to feel his slimy repulsion”. I can also see THAT, but the premise is, then, that he IS a Psychopath and not a mere con man. (or perhaps a psychopath AND a con man).

So the thoughts I have after watching this…as far as the questions above…are these:

1.       CAN a Psychopath recognize himself/herself as one?

I think the answer to this one is that they ARE able to recognize themselves as being different than OTHER people. Whether they consider that a PROBLEM is anyone’s guess.

2.       CAN a true Narcissist (NPD) recognize himself/herself as one?

See answer one. They are self-aware enough to know to hide the behavior as it is NOT socially acceptable… Do they think it is WRONG? Probably not.

3.       How can you believe anything someone tells you, when they have stated THEMSELVES, that they will do ANYTHING to obtain what they want?

This is a toughie…but just the fact that he IS so brutally honest…and makes no claim to be altruistic… would make me think that much of what he says has merit. He does not really MIND being what he is and his desire to EXPLOIT it for PROFIT actually SUPPORTS the fact that he has no empathy or remorse. If he was claiming to be “reformed” then I would believe he was lying. He makes no such claim.

4.       How can a person with Narcissism, given that the diagnostic indicators include lack of self-awareness, lack of empathy and the inability to recognize any defect within themselves…POSSIBLY engage in such a detached self-reflective process?

Again…a tough one. We KNOW he was twice diagnosed and we KNOW that he is exploiting this diagnosis to make a living, right? So the possibility may exist that he does not REALLY believe he has these conditions but is merely fooling everyone into THINKING he does in order to exploit. But that, in itself, would not change the fact that he DOES have them. AND if he does not believe he has these disorders…and he is purposely exploiting people to obtain money…that ALSO lends itself to the belief that the diagnoses may be correct! So are his observations valid? Well, even if he does not BELIEVE there is anything wrong with him…and he is reporting merely what he THINKS others want to hear…you have to wonder. How are his theories contrived? From his thought processes. And if he makes statements of the opinion that the victims are party to their own misery…..what ELSE would a psychopath say? If he was able to verbalize any empathy or take responsibility for his damages, THEN we could be sure he is a con man.

5.       How can a person be tested for these traits if they have a REASON to want to “fail” the test? His livelihood depends upon his HAVING these disorders.

I don’t believe they can be. I think Mr. Vaknin knows exactly the answers he should provide in order to be diagnosed WHATEVER it is he WANTS to be diagnosed with. For example…I took two tests for psychopathy as an experiment. These tests are meant to be a diagnostic tool administered to the suspected psychopath. I answered, the first time, as I SAW my special someone behaving. The second time I answered as I felt HE would answer. The results of these tests both indicated the presence of psychopathic behavior. Naturally, the one I answered from MY view point was more severe. The results were nearly 100%. So, I, from the outside looking in, could go into a room and take this test KNOWING what answers to give to get myself diagnosed as a psychopath. Isn’t it likely that the psychopath/narcissist…if self-aware enough to hide these behaviors because they are socially unacceptable…is also going to be clever enough to give the, socially acceptable, answer most of the time? For that reason I put little faith in these tests but think long term observation and speaking to others in the narcs life would be the only way to accurately diagnose them (my opinion).

On the other hand…Mr. Vaknin underwent some MEDICAL scans in this documentary as well. These showed differences in the function of his brain….one showed his inability to activate his own emotions as compared to the ability of his wife…AND his inability to even be able to LEARN how to do it. His reaction to this was typical of the narc to the 100^th degree! I do not think that ANYONE is THAT good of an actor! Even though a win to him, in this case, would have been evidence AGAINST him being EXACTLY WHAT HE SAYS HE IS… he ABSOLUTELY could not tolerate the thought that he was BEATEN by his wife at anything or that she had any ability that was superior to his! CLASSIC.

6.       If he has an IQ of 186…and has done extensive research on these things, how can we assume he cannot logically DETERMINE the answers that need to be selected in order to achieve the results that he desires?

See #5 above- I believe he CAN

7.       Does the fact that he IS self-reflective actually disqualify the diagnoses (at least the NPD diagnosis)?

I don’t think he is being self-reflective as much as reflecting the behaviors that OTHER people think are wrong…and just happen to, conveniently, be true.

 

So, my belief in going away from this is that Mr. Vaknin is a Narcissistic psychopath, whether or not he truly BELIEVES that he is. (Does that really matter?) The things that he says that cause issues with his work and cause many people to feel he is invalid are simply attributable to the fact that he IS a Narcissistic psychopath. I would expect nothing else from him…if he did not have GRANDIOSE theories where the blame was not his…I would then be convinced he was NOT a Narcissistic Psychopath. Every inch of footage on that documentary is a video TESTIMONY to the fact that he IS just what he claims to be, whether he truly believes it or not. If those of us who have had to deal with one of these people on a daily basis are triggered by watching the video…that’s even MORE proof in my opinion! I may not believe all his theories and the sheer NUMBER of his writings, videos, publicity are so enormous that I will likely NEVER be exposed to all of it (again….that grandiose behavior that is so typical).

I think that being able to have some insight into their minds is a very valuable thing to me in my recovery. Not so I can EXCUSE the behavior but, once again, to validate to myself that I could not have altered it in ANY way. Lastly, whether Mr. Vaknin believes that he is somehow “fooling” or “exploiting” me in some way…and whether he makes a living in doing so…is of no consequence to me personally. I think his work has value…if not in the recovery process…then in the intellectual processing of something we simply cannot conceive of. Just my opinion… Fascinating!

P.S. I will keep this post on my blog only as my opinions alone might get me removed/banned from some NPD support groups. Now THAT's kind of a humdinger....don't you agree?