Lessons learned...

At that point in my life I had learned several lessons...or should I say, I had been TAUGHT several lessons, that would play a big part in what was to come. This is lesson list #1.

1. I am inferior to my "N"
2. My "N" is exalted and glorious, superb and perfect
3. My love and devotion is inferior to his
4. I am lucky to have him
5. I am unworthy of his devotion
6. I am fatally flawed and substandard (based on my addictions, my marriage to an inferior being, my production of inferior children and my inability to produce offspring of the "N")
7. My "N" is willing to forgive my flaws due to his great love and benevolence
8. I could never truly make him happy
9. I would never be good enough
10. I must do what he says to keep him happy so that I will not lose him