Today...'

Well...things are progressing and I have not been writing much.

My children and I are now moved out of the only home they EVER knew...and the sale of that home is closing today. While I rallied against this, I think it has been for the best. Staying in that toxic environment with the ghosts of fear and domination we all experienced there was not really good for any of us.

I NOW see this as a BLESSING...but a few months ago I would NOT have said that! Funny how time changes things.

We are now living in a smaller, rental home...no pool, fewer bedrooms, etc. BUT it is a feeling of peace knowing that he has NEVER stepped though the door and never will. His evil darkness will not contaminate this place.

The anger at him still comes up when he does something evil and ridiculous, which is quite frequently....but I am left now with more the feelings of loathing... disgust... and embarrassment than I am with hot anger. He is, in my mind, a disgusting little leech, a parody of a man, a disease that PREVIOUSLY infected us all. We still work through the damage and it will be with us for a long time, if not FOREVER.

But knowing that he is now IMPOTENT to do anything about it helps. He can still try to cause me trouble...and each time he does the children love him less and hate him more. They do not respect him. He has shown them that he is a weak and powerless little fool who NEVER takes their needs into consideration. He would rather not see them AT ALL than to see them on any terms but his own. This has not escaped their notice.

He takes money from me at each opportunity although he provides NO SUPPORT for our children. They see him taking from THEM. His "word salad" and "circle talk" will not change that fact. WE (my children and I) are a unit...WE ARE FAMILY!

We will share what we have and we will do without if we have to...but we will not be torn apart. He THOUGHT he had raised materialistic children and he continues to think that if he takes everything from me, and the children suffer, they will go to him....but he is WRONG. Each time he takes from us...I see them seethe with resentment at him....and I see them look at me with understanding and compassion.

THIS he will NEVER see in their eyes, as he has shown them NO compassion or understanding. Those do not exist in his demented little world.

For now he thinks he has it all....he has NOTHING. He has his own "world" and it WILL crumble. Some one once told me that the universe will not support evil forever and he WILL fall. I believe that. While I may not be around to see it, I know that we will be fine and he will NOT be fine. He has given away the most precious gift of GOD. The respect and love of his children. He is a VERY POOR little leech of a man today....even if he is too stupid to realize that yet.

ENJOY your ill gotten gains captain narc. That's ALL you have left now....