The Awful Truth
The breaking down of those "participants" in the "play" that is the narcissists life....the CONTROL the narcissist wields over these players...is accomplished, in large part, by the constant use of lies. Sometimes these lies are blatant, but more often they are lies of omission, lies of exaggeration, lies of twisting and all other manner of "half-truths". These lies are layered over time until no one can ever sort them out. Usually there is JUST ENOUGH truth, even if it is a single shred of truth, to make the lies plausible and believable to the outside world.
I watched this happen in my own life and in the lives of my children and the damage it causes is extensive.
You can imagine my horror when I discovered that the court system, or at least the judge assigned to my divorce case, was demanding that I continue his abuse of our children even when he was no longer in our home!
She was of the opinion that my insistence on telling my 14 year old sons the TRUTH, was harming them. She stated that they should NOT be told of ANYTHING that was happening regarding the divorce or the child custody case and that, by involving my children in these "adult matters" I WAS BEING INAPPROPRIATE.
So he was free to tell his lies and weave his stories, but I WAS NOT to attempt to dispel anything he was saying because, in doing so, I was alienating them from him.
I was appalled!
I made the decision that I would REFUSE to be a participant in the further psychological abuse of my sons. Yes, the TRUTH is hard to face when you are 14, but his lies were harder still and belief in them put my children in greater danger of additional psychological trauma and brainwashing.
At this point, months after the divorce, the N is continuing to DEMAND that I CEASE to advise the children of the excessively cruel things he does, his actions which show total disregard for their well being, his constant lies and the truth about his emotional and psychological abuse of them. He does not DENY what he is doing, he does not contend that I am lying or fabricating ANYTHING...he simply demands that I hide these things from our sons. He is stating that I am harming them by refusing to insist that they submit to his control...because I am alienating them from him. He insists that I attempt to force them to submit to his treatment of them as objects without rights, feelings or opinions. He DEMANDS that I be an accomplice to his abuse.
This I cannot and will not do. I will not further sacrifice the future mental health of my sons based on a misguided legal system or an uninformed judge.
We all know that there are issue in our legal system...and this is a doozy.
His constant threats to bring suit against me are annoying. Since I know that the judge bought his act, it is a little frightening. Still, I really have no option. The judge does NOT understand what my children have been through...that is her excuse. I have no excuse. If I cave on this I would be HELPING him to abuse our sons.
This is not something I could ever consider.
As retribution for this he has lashed out at me, our children and my extended family. Our lives are disrupted daily and there is no peace.
Sometimes it feels like Satan himself is tormenting us.
But this Satan wears his mask and the outside world does not see his evil.
It is frustrating and frightening that so many people, that I do not know and have not met, hate me based on what he says, the lies he tells.
Our sons know the truth, and he will attempt to punish me for that as long as he possibly can.
No comments:
Post a Comment